The fall of the Bro-Man Empire

There are times when every man needs to just go out with the dudes, throw some high fives all around, and drink some beers in rapid succession. Now on these occasions, there are certain songs that will just help you bro-down with greater ease.

"The Boys Are Back in Town" by Thin Lizzy

Do I even need to explain this one? Go find someone to high five, STAT.

"American Girl" by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

This song has the perfect opening, it gives everyone a second to let their ears perk up in recognition, then enough time to throw their fists up for the rock. Plus, it's a guarantee that most of your companions will only be able to sing along to the "Oh Yeah! All Right!" parts, making it perfectly bro-tastic.

"Centerfield" by John Fogerty

Rockin' Organs, Sweet Guitar Licks, and the Great American Pastime. John Fogerty gives us it all. He's like a Bro-Man Deity.

"Rosalita (Come Out Tonight)" by Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band

Bruce Springsteen and Max Weinberg invented the high five, with input from Silvio Dante. True story. Get ready for handclaps, fist pumps, and high fives galore when "your papa says he knows that I don't have any money!".

"Drug Ballad" by Eminem

I have no idea why this song is so ripe for brodogging, but I've been through more than enough frat parties to know that it is. One of a handful of eminem songs that I can enjoy.

The Greatest Place on Earth

MC Abstract Douchipster alerted me the other night to a Ted Leo documentary being shown on Starz about his set at Sirenfest. I couldn't really stand the way the whole thing was shot, so I eventually turned it off, but it did have some awesome performance clips, especially the one that reminded me how fucking awesome "Biomusicology" is. I want to give Ted an award for best song ever on that one. Or maybe a gold star sticker.

"Biomusicology" by Ted Leo and those Rapscallion Pharmacists

Just watching the piece of the doc that I did made me start thinking about Siren fest. The only one I made it to was 2005, and it was a blast. I was pysched about seeing Q and Not U and Spoon, but even if I wasn't, worst case scenario is that it's a day at Coney Island.

"Y Plus White Girl" by Q and Not U

"The Two Sides Of Monsieur Valentine" by Spoon

I mean, how can you beat a day at Coney Island? Last year, I didn't go because of the lackluster lineup (scissor sisters, tapes n tapes, and art brut can all suck it), but talking to the Douchipster we decided it's really worth it to go whatever the lineup may be. All that said, I'd still prefer a good lineup to a shitty lineup. You also have to take into account the space limitations at Coney Island. You can't have a band who's going to bring in the obnoxious hoards of people, because you still need room to breathe. So with all that in mind, here's a couple bands I'd put in the top of my fantasy lineup.

!!!

It's gonna be all hot and sweaty out anyway, so why not listen to a band that makes me hot and sweaty everytime I put them on?

"Break In Case of Anything" by !!!

Beirut

So they've had to cancel shows before because of tour exhaustion, that's okay. Coney Island is nice and close to home. Plus I really want to see Beirut live.

"Elephant Gun" by Beirut

Two Gallants

The whole southern piss rock thing vibes well with the heat. So maybe it'll be a very different kind of hot afternoon than they'd have south of the Mason Dixon, but there'll still be tons of fresh lemonade.

"Las Cruces Jail" by Two Gallants

The Features

I just want to see the Features and if I have a chance to see them, then ride a roller coaster, instead of seeing them in some shitty venue, well that would be awesome.

"Contrast" by The Features

Freezepop

There's never a bad time for breezy synth pop, but the summer is certainly a great time.

"Here Comes a Special Boy" by Freezepop

Feist

I saw Feist open up for Bright Eyes, and the lady is quite a performer I'd have to say. I missed the beginning of her set though, so it'd be nice to catch her again.

"Sea Lion Woman" by Feist

I'm sure this has happened to all of us at some point...

"Cold, Cold Night" by the White Stripes

Fuck You Friday/Saturday Morning!

This is some black beans, doggie.

Is it too soon for me to say that I kinda like the song "Name" by the Goo Goo Dolls? Do I have to wait until it's like 10 years older before it's acceptable?

"Name" by the Goo Goo Dolls

All the guy wants is to be loved and to be Paul Westerberg, is that really so much to ask? Maybe it is. One thing I do know, it is never a bad time to mention how awesome the Rezillos are.

"Top of the Pops" by the Rezillos
"Flying Saucer Attack!" by the Rezillos

Drink Water. Read Achewood.

Fuck You Friday!

Well it's been a while since I've done a Fuck You Friday in the original format. For any who don't recall, it was basically where I would post a song from my collection that happens to be somewhat embarrassing. Well, I'm going to tweak that format a little bit today, since I happen to not be on my own computer at the moment. So let's take a look at what my brother had in his music collection. He's pretty hardcore, it's probably full of punk rock and metal tunes, there's probably nothing to be ashamed of here, OH WAIT.

"Lovefool" by the Cardigans

Haha, not so metal now, are you Richie? Not that this song is even that bad, cuz now that I've put it on I'm kind or rocking to it. I think I might have taped this off of the radio in the 6th grade, come to think of it. So I guess I'm the one that sucks in the end.

Also, welcome back Mr. Douchipster, and if that toothpaste for dinner was your high school experience, then I think this half of an achewood strip describes my first real memory of high school.

you ain't got no job, you ain't got shit to do, it's Fuck You Friday, Gonna get you high Douchipster

Tonight's installment of Fuck You Friday has been brought to you by the letter

and the letter

I've been really enjoying this song when I hear it as of late. I thought it was a No Doubt song, or some Gwen Stefani song, not that I'm even crazy about their stuff these days. I can't believe I'm about to do this but,

"Stars are Blind" by Paris Hilton

I think I also kinda like it because it reminds me of a great song

"Tide is High" by Blondie

Aside from being the opening song for a fantastic film starring Miss Hillary Duff, this song is awesome. The Paris Hilton song lacks the cool trumpet flourishes, Debbie Harry's voice, sexyness, etc, and the lyrical content, but I still find myself getting a kick out of it everytime. I can't help it.

as usual, you should be reading achewood.

Fuck You Friday!

Well folks, here we are again for another Fuck You Friday. I'm gonna make this kinda quick, since I need to be out the door soon, so I'll get right to the point.



"Yeah!" by Zwan

"Honestly" by Zwan

I was always a big Smashing Pumpkins fan, so when Zwan came out, I figured it'd be awesome. I mean, it was basically the smashing pumpkins minus D'Arcy, but with a different cute bass player and some extra members. A lot of people would argue that Zwan wasn't even that bad, and it's true. The only problem was they weren't that good either. I don't know why I keep all this stuff in my collection, I'm such a packrat with mp3s, it's a little ridiculous.

as always, you should read achewood.

It's another Fuck You Friday!

Now, some of you may be at home saying, "Hey wait a minute, isn't today Saturday?" and the answer is yes. See that's the beauty of Fuck You Friday. You can tell me that today is Saturday, not Friday, and I can reply, "Hey Fella, Fuck You."

So on this week's installment, I bring you a double shot of embarrassment. See, back when I was in high school, I kind of liked this song "Omnibus" by Laut Sprecher. I still like Omnibus. It's a cool song. The only problem is that it brought me to explore some other techno and a lot of the stuff I explored was just crap. Case in point, the following two songs. I don't even know what DJ put them together, when I downloaded em, the artist was tagged as Happy Hardcore. Now maybe that's the name of some rave DJ out there, but as far as I knew, it was a techno subgenre, not just one DJ. Anyways, the second song has sort of a jungle beat and is better than the first, but that doesn't say a whole lot. For whatever reason, even after I cleaned my computer of extraneous mp3s, I couldn't bring myself to delete them.




Rainbow Brite Happy Hardcore Mix

She really does kind of look like a candy kid. What a weird scene that is.



Sesame Street Happy Hardcore Mix



So now you know that at one point in my life, I thought those songs were pretty cool. Man, they really are not. Anyways yeah, you can boo me now, I'll see you next time on Fuck You, Friday.

read achewood.

Fuck You Friday

So welcome to the first ever "Fuck You Friday" here at Cigarbox Guitars. See the idea here is that every Friday, one of us here is going to post something embarassing from their music collection and attempt to justify it. Then all zero people reading along at home can see it and say, "All this pretension, and you've been hiding that Linkin Park single this whole time??? Fuck you , man!". Then everyone will feel much better. So to get the ball rolling here, I bring to you:

"Better Off Alone" feat. Jay-Z, The Lox, Ghostface Killah, Nas, Mobb Deep, Common, Dead Prez, and the RZA by Alice Deejay, mixed by DJ Whiskeyclone.

I don't even know what to say about this. There was a short phase among my friends this spring where we listened to the original version of this song pretty regularly. Even that's kind of silly. One day I was looking to download it, and I saw Ghostface's name pop up. We all know how I feel about Ghost, so of course I downloaded it. Man, this song sucks. I'd be lying though if I said I never listened to it.

So everybody get your rocks off at my expense and have a happy Fuck You Friday!